lechatn0ir

Things are always unexpected in life.

I’m the type of person that likes guarantees. I like making sure I am in control of the situation, at least most of the time. It bums me out when things don’t go according to plan. But that’s life. Life happens whether you plan on it happening or not. It’s easier said than done to accept the things you can’t change, but as human beings, we need to adapt to changes.

I think the best thing is to come up with multiple options. Always prepare yourself with an alternative; a plan B, if you will. 

I feel uneasy about a lot of things. But I guess I should know that I am working hard to get what I want.. and that I should just trust myself to know that I can do this.

So to all of you fellow perfectionists and control-freaks out there: try your best, but don’t panic when things don’t go exactly the way you planned! Things will always work out for the best!

xoxo 

Please grow up and grow a brain. Okay, you have a brain. Now listen to that brain, stop fussing, and get over it. Get over the fact that you always want more and accept that you have everything you need right now. Also know that you have every reason to be productive. Stop wasting so much time on facebook; all you’re doing is wasting time by staring at the same shit over and over.

Also, never give yourself a hair cut. Ever again.

Also, you have the best boyfriend in the world who you get to see in less than a week. Nbd. Now, stop being a selfish, time-wasting little shit and work your ass off. 3 hours of violin is certainly not enough. It should be 5 hours, every day. Stop whining. Stop being a little bitch.


Sincerely,
Sane Girl.

You’re the only one I’m dreaming of
You see, I can be myself now finally
In fact there’s nothing I can’t be
I want the world to see you’ll be with me

studying?

chatting up my boyfran

:) 

ikea. i loved this bedding though so i bought it for my future apt :)

“Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.”
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

You are perfect for me.

“Hold yourself back in everything else, analyze everything else in life, but never do that with love. Love is all we have. Might turn out real fucked up, but at least you took the leap.”

  -Blair S. R. [my friend who writes beautifully and is an overall amazing lady!]


 

There’s no real logic to love. Love can be super crazy, exciting, amazing, and terrible.
It can make you feel the greatest joy, and yet at times, the deepest sorrow.

Many of us are afraid to love, because of our past experiences, or because we’ve grown up watching others get hurt and torn apart. Love is a scary thing… but love can also be the best thing in the world. 

It’s the first time I’ve ever stayed happy for this long. Maybe to some people, it’s not such a big deal, but to me it is. Maybe it is crazy, and maybe this really is just a dream. I’m not really sure, but all I know is that he makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. It’s worth the risk.

I’m in love, and I’m okay with it. 

Soulmate

 [according to dictionary.com]
noun a person with whom one has a strong affinity.

[according to wikipedia]

A soulmate (or soul mate) is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity, similarity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, or compatibility. 

[according to freedictionary]
soulmate or soul mate  (slmt)n.One of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity. 

I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes, the reason doesn’t make any sense at the moment, but its possible that eventually you’ll understand it.

Making mistakes is necessary for human growth. We may regret things at the time, but regret does nothing. Realizing and admitting a mistake is the first step. There are often consequences following the mistake, but hopefully a valuable lesson is learned, so that we do not make a similar mistake again.
There have been instances where I’d regret being in some of my relationships, but I can’t deny the fact that I’ve learned from every single one of them. Not only have I learned about what I want in a relationship/boyfriend/potential husband, I’ve learned a lot about myself: my tendencies, flaws, personality traits, bad habits, etc. I’ve learned and it’s helped me grow and mature. Having regrets won’t turn back the time and change the past. Moving on and learning from our mistakes is just another part of life.

With that being said, one of my tendencies is that I tend to settle. There’s a huge part of me that thinks very little of myself. It’s not that I completely hate myself, but there’s a part of me that believes that I don’t deserve to be happy. I know that may sound kind of crazy, but it’s been true. There have always been things I’ve wanted in someone, but those things often get ignored when I go into a relationship. I always tell myself that I am just hoping for the best, but the fact is, I usually know what I’m getting myself into. I know that there are certain things about the guy that I won’t be able to just accept and look past. Those things always come back and ruin the relationship.

It doesn’t mean that the person you’re with has to be PERFECT. No one is ever perfect. However, there are certain things that you should not overlook. If you feel strongly about something, it’s going to stick with you…it won’t go away just because you feel like you’re in love. Love is blind, but once the initial stage of the relationship (along with the infatuation) is over, the truth sticks out. No one wants to admit these things.

It’s really hard to be with someone who doesn’t understand you or understand the way you think. It may seem impossible to find someone who will understand your thought process and your feelings and your personality.. but did you know, that there are almost 7 billion people on Earth? Obviously, some of them are babies or old people or people of the same sex… BUT it means that there are a LOT of people out there. 
It’s not just me… a lot of people settle for people that aren’t right for them.

It took me a while to just admit that and take it in. Settling for someone who’s not right for you just throws you off track. It will eventually make you and the other person unhappy..

One of the biggest reasons why I was able to come to this conclusion is because I met someone who really gets me. Yes, I was very skeptical at first.. and it didn’t seem real. I felt like I’ve fucked up so many times and that this time was no different.. but I was wrong. 

I’m the type of girl that watches The Notebook and think that kind of love is complete BS. I’m not a dreamer. I don’t believe in perfect love. I scoffed at the word “soulmate.”
Yeah, I know. I’m more like a guy in that sense.. 
Happiness in a relationship just seemed like a total temporary thing, where it was more like a mood than something that was real and would last. 
I’ve been a total pessimist for most of my life.

And then, I met M.
We chatted for a bit, and he seemed kind of cool. I didn’t think much of it at the time, and I usually go for older guys, so when I found out that he was 2 years younger, the thought of liking him didn’t even appeal to me at all.
I guess I have this idea that guys are immature enough as they are, so going for older ones would be a better idea. (Not true, btw! The most immature guy I’ve dated was also the oldest one)
After we were talking for a while, I found out that M and I had really bizarre things in common. Sure, I’ve met a lot of guys who like sushi and french fries before. But things that I used to love when I was young and things I was into that I’m usually too embarrassed to talk about with? (because most people would think they’re lame) Highly unlikely that anyone would like those too.
I barely even knew M. But the more we talked, the more I was fascinated by him. It wasn’t even just a feeling. He made sense to me, and I made sense to him. Sure, he was cute, but I’ve dated cute guys before. I loved the way he thought and functioned. It honestly made too much sense to me, because of how similar we are.
I had the longest phone conversations I’ve ever had with him. I couldn’t believe that we could just talk about anything and I just never wanted to stop talking to him. 

Usually, when I become really interested in someone, it all goes downhill after a couple of weeks. Things that used to be fun or cute would just get annoying, mostly because the other person was acting that way intentionally and not sincerely. I’d start noticing things I’d been ignoring in the past, etc. So many mistakes could just be avoided if people were more honest with each other. 

I think a lot of why I was 100% myself with M, even from the beginning, was because I was tired of acting. We’ve all done it. We all try to be extra-nice or extra-cute or extra-something fake. 
I purposefully didn’t this time, and was very aware of that. I wanted to see if this guy really liked me for me.
And he did.

The more I got to know him, the stronger I felt about him. I didn’t want to get too close, since we live far away and I didn’t want to feel like I was vulnerable to being hurt. But I couldn’t control how I felt.
Here’s someone who has life goals and is passionate about what he does. Someone who really understands me and accepts me for me. Someone who likes the same things I like. Someone who I can respect and admire. Someone who loves music. Someone I’m really attracted to. I could go on and on… but the point is, I couldn’t just ignore all of these things and say, “Oh, this is just another cute guy.”
So I just did what I wanted, and said what I felt.

Luckily, everything has been working out. I’ve never been happier in my life. And it’s not just the crazy-in-love feeling. It makes sense. We make sense.

I hate myself for being super cheesy lately, but..


I think I’ve found my soulmate.